It was Anais Nin who originally led me to Henry Miller. I always like the idea of this manly man persona; the man who holds nothing back; the man who’s honest with himself and his surroundings. Authors like Bukowski for example, and undeniably Henry Miller.
It was no surprise to me that Miller portrays a different side of Paris in this excerpt. At this same time, even though he’s shedding a different light on Paris than maybe the romanticized notion of the city, he still shows Paris as something of a dream. Miller does something which few, if any, other authors are able to successfully pull off: he shows the reality of Paris, the darker side of it and then romanticizes that side.
Miller uses phrases such as, “The fat worms are sucking the shit out of the cesspools.” He continues, “Every night, as I head toward La Fourche, I run the gauntlet. Every night I’m scalped and tomahawked.” Again we see this darker imagery, “Like the gnarled stump of an old redwood, solitary and majestic she stands there in the broad plane of the Seine.” Showing this darker side to Paris portrays the frustration experienced by many of these expatriate writers.
They (Miller included) experience a certain ‘liberation of the imagination’ while in Paris-a place that was more open and accepting of sexuality. Paris provided, “Sexual openness and freedom.” This sense of liberation acted as a portal of sorts towards self-discovery and awareness. With this new sense of self, came a frustration for these writers; a frustration of yearning; yearning for spirituality, understanding of self, and creativity. Miller portrays this darker side of Paris, highlighting this sense of frustration, while also shedding light on the new perspectives Paris has given him-a new world in a sense.
All these ex-pats include this theme of a romanticized sense of Paris. The Paris, as Miller states, “I have always been searching for.” And Miller acknowledges that it exists, however he also sheds light on “A man lying on the sidewalk.” Miller describes the man as, “Lying flat on his back with arms outstretched—as if he had just been taken down from the cross. Not a soul approached him, not one, to see if he were dead or not.” Miller portrays Paris as real-not merely a place of romance and free time-but through this still includes a certain amount of romance to the city. He still gets lost in it; loses himself in it.
With this being said, it’s interesting to see how Miller views his past: America. Miller states, “Everything American coming up in a rush. And with every name a thousand intimate details of my life are connected.” I wrote about this before, being constantly reminded of the past parts of what has made you, well you, and further of finding comfort in these moments.
Miller discusses the sense of self-awareness Paris (or any city for that matter) gives him. “Each city I walked through has killed me—so vast the misery, so endless the unremitting toil. From one city to another I walk, leaving behind me a grand procession of dead and clanking selves.” Paris, but even further traveling, allows Miller a certain amount of self-discovery. He is not the same person he came to Paris as, and this adds to this image of Paris as a place for exploration; a place for one to be free and explore. This is a theme found within most expats in Paris, such as Hemingway.
Within the excerpt from Miller is a lot of embryo imagery, insinuating that Miller is being reborn in Paris; is ‘finding himself,’ as cliche as that may sound. He states, “Fetus under a dead sun.” He again discusses birth: “Born while sitting in a cafe, born while lying over a whore.” We can observe a sense that through the activities that Paris allows for Miller finds a new side to himself. Pizer sees the Paris cafe as “The site of this joining of sexuality and creativity in artistic expression.” Clearly the places/environment of Paris allowed for a certain expression and awareness that other locations, such as America didn’t necessarily provide for these writers.
Miller continues, “[It] tears the living embryo from the womb and puts it in the incubator. Paris is the cradle of artificial births.” Here we see Miller again shedding light on the idea of Paris as a place for one to grow and develop. At this same time he shows the ‘reality’ of this by referring to this birth as ‘artificial.’ It may not be real. It may just be an over-romanticization, for no birth is really true except from the womb. Miller continues, “The born man living unborn, the unborn man dying born.” We again get a sense of this sense of being reborn/awakened. The born man lives unborn because he has been awakened, and therefore has much more to learn; acknowledges that there is much more to learn, whereas the man who has not been awakened, dies as man; dies content even. For the man who has not been awakened, death is the closest to a connection with spirituality and creativity that he will see.
Another example of Miller’s increased self-awareness in Paris is shown when he states, “I see myself bending over the book in the cafe; I see the whore alongside me reading over my shoulder.” He is literally observing himself out of body, giving him a new perspective/way of seeing himself and his situation.
These writers came to Paris and let themselves go. With a less strict view on sexuality and a general sense of freedom, these writers fully indulged-in Miller’s case, even overindulged-in these activities. Miller states, “Walking toward Montparnasse I decided to let myself drift with the tide, to make not the least resistance to fate, no matter in what form in presented itself.” We sense a certain amount of freedom from Miller here, fitting into his philosophy of libertinism. Paris, a place with increased sexuality and a sense of freedom, feeds Miller’s libertinism perfectly, allowing him to sleep around, speak badly of God, and generally disregard authority. He states, “I go forth to fatten myself.” Miller wants to over-indulge in activities, taking full advantage of the freedoms that Paris allows for, allowing him to increase his own awareness of himself.
We can observe Miller’s philosophy of libertinism through his writing too, as he devotes an entire page and a half to things that remind him of the ‘American scene,’ including Abe Lincoln and Standard Oil. It’s excessive, breaking the norms of writing. He isn’t concerned, presumably, that his reader will be bored of reading a laundry list of names, but rather lists them for himself-no real regard for the reader’s engagement. Sure maybe he was trying to connect with the reader, listing things that they could connect to, but Miller would have been easily able to do that by listing two or three household names.
Pizer feels that, “A sharp break with the conventionally acceptable in belief and behavior, a break that appears to be attributable principally to the Paris scenes which they are set.” Miller encompasses this, breaking free from prior convictions to search for a new way to live; a new sense of himself. Pizer continues that Paris provided some with, “Sexual openness and freedom serv(ing) to confirm traditional beliefs, while for others it led either to a deeply iconoclastic stance or to the dramatization of modern versions of man’s tragic limitations.” For Miller we see this new awareness of ‘man’s tragic limitations’, trying to work through this newfound realization and cope with it. Miller states, “I am like a man who awakes from a long sleep to find that he is dreaming.”
This sense of spirituality is something that many of these writers valued and many linked this spirituality to sexuality; expression. We see this in Anais Nin stating, “That last afternoon in Henry’s hotel room was for me like a white-hot furnace. Before, I had only white heat of the mind and of the imagination; now it is of the blood. Sacred completeness.” We see Nin finding a sense of wholeness through sexuality.
Miller describes Paris as “Rubbing her belly. Paris is smacking her lips. Paris is whetting her palate for the feast to come.” By personifying Paris in this way, Miller sexualizes the city, again reinforcing this correlation between the city and sexuality, which ultimately leads to creative thought.
Miller and many other authors of this time focused on sexual and personal awakenings, as opposed to specific personal relationships. They become more inside of themselves, trying to figure themselves out; trying to be ‘born’ again. And the freedom that they find in Paris allows them to do this, also causing great frustration, yearning and slight impatience for the day when they can say, “I’ve figured it out!”
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